Saturday, January 31, 2009


(Like Lindsay) if you're reading this, then I tag you!

I am... a daughter

I think... that people need to think more

I want... money

I have... pajamas on!

I miss... my grandpa

I fear... spiders and the dark

I feel... sleepy and confused

I hear... All American Rejects

I smell... fresh air

I crave... ice cream...

I cry... alone.

I regret... absolutely nothing

I search... for happiness

I wonder... out loud sometimes

I wish... for inner peace

I love... my family and friends

I care... way too much

I always... hate saying always

I worry... if I will ever find happiness again

I am not... the plan in advance type

I remember... when life was less complicated

I believe... It won't be as complicated one day

I sing... in my car- loud!

I don't always... understand

I argue... with just about everything

I write... very rarely


I listen... to country a lot

I can usually be found... online or reading

I need... comfort

I forget... as much as a lose- EVERYTHING

I am happy... sometimes

A happy post finally

I've had some prettttty pissed off posts lately. I'm sorry. I decided today I would do something fun...ish. How about some more photography? Remember how I pretend to do that? lol.

These are outside my parents home.
My brothers girlfriend lives with us, and for Halloween they thought it would be fun to decorate the house. Well one of the candles on the porch burned a bit too much and this is what was left lol...

Thursday, January 29, 2009

VENT about my divorce!


All through my marriage, my parents defended Chris. Everything he did was right (almost). Everything I did was wrong (again almost). If he got mad at me for spending money, he was right. I paid the bills, he was right and no one liked my budget. I *thought* my divorce meant my parents would finally be on my side. WRONG!!!!

My ID expired October 26. Chris needed to go with me to get a new one. I asked and asked and asked and he never had time. This thing or that thing (probably too busy fucking the whore!) got in the way. Finally I put my foot down and told him he had to go with me. Its not like I was asking for dinner and a movie- ITS MY DAMN ID! And what answer did I get "well I'm leaving in two days for Virginia until April." WHAT?!?!?! I knew you were leaving. But, I would have liked more than two days notice. See the problem with this was it was the beginning of January. In the beginning of January I worked 14 days in a row without a day off. I worked until 2 that Thursday and I worked from 1 until 630 that Friday. He left Saturday. He wouldn't go with me when I could. So, no ID. In the Marine Corps, no ID means no insurance. Technically I'm no longer enrolled in DEERS. And I'm getting more and more livid about this. I've tried to call his command. Wanna know what answer I got? "Ma'am are you sure he is in a unit in California?" WHAT?! YES I'm fucking sure! "Ma'am are you sure he is with us?" YES, again I am sure. I looked it up on MOL. "Ma'am he is not in our unit. You must be mistaken." EXCUSE ME?! MOL lied to me? Please. So that's a dead end.

What do my parents have to say about this? "Well maybe you shouldn't have procrastinated so long." Procrastinated?!?! I did no such thing!!! HE'S the one who wouldn't go with me! "Well you had a POA." Riiiight because using my power of attorney in the middle of a divorce would have looked good on me. My parents are taking his side.

I finally got a response from him. "Call my lawyer." Yes Chris, your lawyer has rights in the Marine Corps and they will care that I called him.

I need the CW smiley where I am banging my head on the wall!!!

Monday, January 26, 2009

A letter to the MC

To: Quantico MCB
CC: Marine Corps
Subject: My friend

Dear Marine Corps;
I know you think you are wicked awesome. And most of the time you are. You keep us safe and blah blah. But here's the thing, you took my friend away at the beginning of the month. You have no idea what that has done to me. When I married into the Marine Corps, I knew what I was getting into. I knew this would happen eventually. I always thought it would be us who moved. But Chris and I are no longer married, so newsflash to you- You DON'T run my life anymore! So give me my friend back. Please?
I've had some pretty rough days of late. I need some wine. But not just any wine. The wine that brings somersaults on. The wine that causes you to dance with the guitar hero guitar. That can only be brought on when Hannah is around.
I already blame you for taking my husband to Iraq that second time. And putting that stupid whore there with him. And I also blame you for allowing them to cohabit. Because really, I thought that was against the rules. It was the one thing I wasn't afraid about. Apparently you are a liar. I really don't need anymore reason not to like you.
Don't get me wrong, you've given me the K's. They are amazing friends. But Sean is going active, and you might take them away as well. If you do that, I will really really hate you. With as much of my soul as it is humanly possible.
A very angry woman.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


This thing is so cool! Thank you to Lindsay over at Reporting Live for posting this on CW. It is amazing. One day I WILL sit down and write something really good about myself and post it. But for now. The lyrics to "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin. If you've seen Enchanted its the song they dance to at the end when they are at the ball. And Patrick Dempsy (*swoon*) is singing it to Amy Adams. I LOVE that song! Maybe one day I will have that moment...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Don't drink the water in CA!

Send quick prayers to Brittany G. And her family today. She delivered her first son at 31 weeks and 2 days. She is 31 weeks and 3 days pregnant today and on her way to L&D.

And prayers still for the K's! Ashley was 34 weeks and 5 days pregnant yesterday and she ended up at L&D for 6 1/2 hours yesterday to try to stop contractions. I am now going to see her since she is on STRICT bedrest.

What is with the water in Cali sending these ladies into early labor?! If you live in California and you are pregnant DON'T DRINK THE WATER! lol

It's not my problem anymore

I am a conservative. I am very conservative. Don't mistake it for being a goody goody (it happens). But its more traditional than that for me. I believe things should always be traditional.

Yesterday was the end of George W. Bush's presidency and I will admit, I am sad to see him go. I always felt comfortable with him in power. I know start the gasps. But he ALWAYS gave the military significant pay raises, and he made sure they were taken care of. A new presidency leaves me unsure. While many are screaming HOPE, how do we know? Anyone can promise hope. But can he actually deliver? Time will tell.

What is driving me nuts is that so many people are comparing Obama to Lincoln and JFK and all he has done is get elected. I was reading a Fox News article about it yesterday. We have been in worse economic times. But do I wish for good things. Of course I do. Who wouldn't. But time will only tell. And while everyone reveled yesterday, did they really understand that he is not a saint. He is not God. He hasn't done anything for us yet. He may end up doing WORSE than W. Who knows.

But I can tell you that if I was Former President Bush yesterday, my first thought when I got home to Texas last night and sat on my own couch would be "It's not my problem anymore."

Friday, January 16, 2009

I miss my friend

I spent the hardest part of my life, thus far, with...and without... him, if that makes sense? He was deployed for a total of 14 months. Add on the month long training and thats 15 months. We were only married for 20 months. It was the strengthening I needed. When he left me it just made me stronger. It was the pain and the heartbreak that I needed.
I've always been super super trusting, of everyone. Its bad. I mean look at where I work- I have a tendency to believe the things THEY say. Haha and we all know thats not a good idea. And I would believe guys when they would tell me things. Now I have my guard. And it automatically goes up. You can be as sweet as you want to my face and be fuckin around behind my back. And that is what I am terrified. I sent my husband off to fight a war and instead he was fucking around. So think about it. I think I am justified to be afraid.
I miss Hannah. She moved to fucking VIRGINIA last week. Stupid Marine Corps. Give her back! I went shopping and I just wanted her there. Saddd. I know the MC takes people away all the time. But really... really?! NO. Who am I going to drink wine and do somersaults with? Who is going to walk with me to the PX? I drove past the main gate enterance the other day and I got so sad. She's gone. poop.
On the other hand, I have seen Ashley THREE TIMES this week. Holy hell. I don't think that has ever happened. I love her belly. I can't wait for Gunnar. I'm gonna be up there a lot more once he gets here I think.